ArcaMax

Dear Annie: I have a very toxic and narcissistic sister-in-law. Despite years of unpleasant family problems caused by her, my husband and his brother (her siblings) feel obligated to stay in contact with her. Now that their parents have passed away, I had hoped we could reduce this contact even further.

The issue has become more pressing as our daughter is getting married. She does not want to invite her aunt or cousins due to how they've treated her in the past, and I fully support her decision. However, I know this will cause conflict with my husband, who may insist on including them out of family obligation.

How can I handle this situation while respecting my daughter's wishes and avoiding unnecessary family drama? -- Conflicted

Dear Conflicted: Your daughter's wedding is her day, and her wishes should be the priority. Explain to your husband that the decision to exclude his sister is about ensuring a positive, stress-free event for your daughter, not about hurting anyone.

Suggest that your husband address the matter with his sister separately, either before or after the wedding, to maintain some level of family connection without disrupting the celebration. Focus on clear, calm communication, and emphasize that this is about supporting your daughter's happiness.

Dear Annie: Thank you so much for recommending Al-Anon to your readers who are struggling with the devastating effects of alcoholism. This program has been a lifeline for me, offering a safe space to untangle the confusion, pain and helplessness that often comes from loving someone who struggles with drinking. Al-Anon is not just about coping; it's about transforming how we live, think and love.

Before Al-Anon, I spent so much energy trying to control the uncontrollable -- desperately trying to "fix" my alcoholic loved one and believing that their sobriety was the key to my happiness. It was exhausting and heartbreaking. The program gently taught me that my happiness, peace and serenity don't depend on someone else's choices. Instead, they come from within me.

Through the wisdom of Al-Anon, I've learned to let go of resentment, unrealistic expectations and the illusion of control. I've found a new way to love -- one that is rooted in compassion and respect, whether my alcoholic loved one is drinking or not. That doesn't mean it's always easy, but it does mean that I now have tools to navigate the hard moments without losing myself in the process.

The serenity I've gained is beyond measure. It's allowed me to find joy in my own life, no matter the chaos or uncertainty around me. I've learned to trust in something greater than myself and to lean on a community of people who truly understand what it means to walk this path. I'm forever grateful for Al-Anon. If you're struggling, I can't recommend it enough. You're not alone, and there is a way to find peace. -- Love Al-Anon

Dear Love: Thank you for your heartfelt letter. I am so glad that you found so much perspective, freedom and comfort from Al-Anon, which, as you know, is an organization that I recommend regularly. They are great, and so are you! Thanks again for writing.

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.