Life Advice
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The underground Mom Chat helping Philly parents fight loneliness
PHILADELPHIA — The Chat, as everyone refers to it, started with just a handful of moms. It was for the terrifying, thrilling moments of new motherhood: for grappling with breastfeeding, venting about in-laws and partners and sex, tracking milestones. It was especially for 3 a.m., when even in a city of 1.5 million people, it could feel like no...Read more
Asking Eric: Happy marriage disrupted by differing views on hoarding
Dear Eric: I am a happily married gay man. My husband and I are retired, and we both love to spend our time shopping at thrift stores and antique shops. We each believe the other has a hoarding problem. I believe that we both do, but to varying degrees.
Our home has become so full that we only have paths to go from one room to another. Stacks ...Read more
Employee Wants To Repair Team Dynamics
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm struggling to cope with the toxic dynamics within my team at work. Instead of collaborating to solve problems or improve processes, it feels like everyone is constantly pointing fingers and blaming one another for mistakes. This blame game has created a tense and unproductive environment, and it's starting to take a toll on ...Read more
See, I Was Protecting You From The Other Creepy Men
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 67-year-old man who works out regularly at a gym. The gym is open 24/7, and members have a key fob to enter since it is not always staffed.
I was exercising at 9 p.m., and the only other person there was a young, attractive woman, probably in her 40s. We exchanged pleasantries. When I was finished with my workout, I ...Read more
Navigating Family Disappointments and Toxic Relationships
Dear Annie: My daughter took in some kittens that a mama cat delivered on her property. She was very selective about who she would give them to and wound up only finding a home for one of them. She decided to keep two of the kittens, along with her existing two cats, which left three without homes. She kept them for seven months and then ...Read more
Family's Obsession With Weight Creates Unneeded Stress
DEAR ABBY: I am a middle-aged slender woman born into a family of women who have always struggled with weight. Ever since I can remember, I have been subjected to nasty jibes and microaggressions regarding my weight.
My siblings have always kept a close eye on my waistline for clues that I could be gaining. They have also bullied and excluded ...Read more
Asking Eric: After an inheritance, couple disagree about retirement plans
Dear Eric: I am a 60-something man who struggled for decades, working multiple jobs at a time. Many of those jobs were physically brutal, but thanks to a generous family inheritance late last year I'm finally able to rest my beaten and broken body and retire with my arthritis meds and pending joint replacements.
My wife of eight months, who is ...Read more
Parent Reconsiders Hosting Daughter's Birthday Party
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 13-year-old daughter recently got into trouble at school, and now I'm torn about whether to let her go ahead with the birthday party we've been planning for her.
The situation at school was serious: She was caught being disrespectful to a teacher and breaking some of the school rules. When I spoke to her about it, she seemed ...Read more
Every Milestone Comes With A Wish List
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have friends who seem to think every little milestone should be celebrated like a small wedding. They hold celebrations and attach a wish list, sometimes with hundreds of gift ideas, to every invitation. Birthday parties, gender-reveal parties, baby showers (for every child, often asking for a box of diapers as well as a ...Read more
Thoughts for Martin Luther King Jr. Day and Election Day
Dear Readers: Wishing you all a very happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day and Inauguration Day!
I thought it would be a good time to find some impactful quotes from presidential inaugural speeches and from King's "I Have a Dream" speech. I found quotes that inspire, unify and motivate audiences toward a shared vision for the nation. Comparing ...Read more
Sister Cuts Off Communication After Mother's Passing
DEAR ABBY: My sister, brother and I lost our mom to dementia six months ago. We needed to start cleaning out the house. My brother, who lives in assisted living was unable to help.
When I mentioned to my sister that I was going to start cleaning out the kitchen, she told me she didn't want me there alone. I told her when a person offers to help...Read more
Millennial Life: So Close to Being a Classic
I'm the wifely stereotype in one aspect: I'm the one in the relationship who lets their car decay and slightly hides it from their spouse for as long as they can. Just until we have to swap cars because his gets better gas mileage for a trip. That's when I have to spill the beans: My heater stopped working, the brakes have gotten squeakier, and ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend still speaking to her ex, despite his mistreatment
Dear Eric: Several months ago, a friend's boyfriend broke up with her. She is devastated over this as she loves him very much. Even though he treated her very poorly by saying she is stupid and is an embarrassment, she still loves him.
She continues to speak to him, even helping him out. She calls me to tell of the latest hurtful situation he ...Read more
When Is It OK for a Woman to Propose?
Dear Annie: After nine years of waiting for him to propose, I finally decided to take matters into my own hands and popped the question myself. His response? He said he'd need to "see what his finances look like" -- and then a week later, he broke up with me via text.
Looking back, it's painfully clear: If he doesn't ask, he doesn't want to. ...Read more
Friendship With Couple Has Cooled Amid Good Fortune
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been friends with another couple for 15 years. We would see each other once or twice a week, alternating between each other's home and occasionally out to dinner, where we took turns paying the bill.
Three years ago, we bought our dream home, and since then, our friends have stopped inviting us over to theirs. ...Read more
Asking Eric: Vegan housemate constantly criticizes friend’s food choices
Dear Eric: I took a job in DC at the behest of my close friend, who also invited me to live with her. She said she was retiring and moving back to her Midwest hometown. She offered to rent her townhouse to me for a really reduced rate while she's in transition.
Well, not only is she not making any attempts to move, but she also comments on my ...Read more
First Date Debacle Raises Questions
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went on a first date with a guy, and I'm trying to decide if I should give him another chance. On one hand, he was kind and respectful toward me, which I really appreciated. However, there were a few things that made me feel unsure about whether I want to continue seeing him.
First, he invited me out for drinks, and I...Read more
Rude Passenger Puts The 'bark' In 'disembark'
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper etiquette for disembarking a plane when the aisles are full and someone's bag is several rows behind them?
I was getting off a flight when a couple in the row in front of me tried to get other passengers to retrieve their large carry-on bags from the overhead compartments, four rows back, and pass them up ...Read more
Reacting to Mother's Dementia
Dear Annie: I just wanted to say thank you for keeping an open mind.
I've noticed that, on different occasions, readers sometimes challenge you or want to "add to" some of your answers based on their education or personal experiences.
You are willing to keep an open mind and welcome the input. For that, I say, BRAVO!
Of course, not all of the...Read more
New Boyfriend Is Still Someone Else's Husband
DEAR ABBY: I have started seeing someone I've known for years. On our first date, he told me he had tried multiple times to divorce his ex of many years. He said they live in different states, and each time he's tried, something has gone awry.
I'm about to start nursing school, and what I want is a relationship of convenience to work around my ...Read more
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