Life Advice
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Defining the relationship: Exclusivity, labels and commitment
Many of us have heard the phrase “define the relationship,” often shortened to “DTR.” One might say, “We had the DTR talk,” or “We DTR’d it.” But it turns out that one person’s DTR talk is another person’s confusion… often when those two people are in the same exact relationship!
Every Monday on Instagram, I host “Ask ...Read more
Asking Eric: After 50 years, friend wants to be done with the group
Dear Eric: I have a group of three girlfriends from middle school/high school. We stayed close during college and were in each other’s weddings, etc. I have known these women for more than 50 years.
There is one person in the group that I have been consistently close with over the many years. The other two I did not and there was a more than ...Read more
Freelancer Struggles With Demanding Client
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 26-year-old freelance writer who's been struggling to find a steady stream of clients and projects. A few months ago, a friend generously offered to refer me to someone in his network, but they have started making demands for quick turnarounds and extra revisions beyond what was initially agreed upon. They often communicate...Read more
'comfort' Dog Causes Discomfort To Everyone Else
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I, along with a friend, pre-purchased hard-to-get opera tickets. We've looked forward to attending for many months.
However, we just learned that our companion intends to bring her extremely unruly "comfort" poodle -- not only to the opera, but also to a lovely restaurant for dinner beforehand. This dog is ...Read more
Seeking Closure When a Close Friend Disappears
Dear Annie: My adult daughter was very close friends with a woman, her husband and their two teenage daughters. When her friend moved across the country, my daughter was heartbroken. However, they continued to talk, text and email almost daily. My daughter even traveled across the country and considered the possibility of moving to a nearby ...Read more
Some Conversations Can Look More Like An Interrogation
DEAR ABBY: I appreciate you offering your booklet "How to Be Popular" to people who are uncomfortable or uncertain in social situations. I don't know if the following tips are included, but here's what I do: When I meet someone for the first time, I say, "Tell me three things about yourself that you would like to share." As I listen to the ...Read more
How to combat the loneliness epidemic
ATLANTA -- Monica Imani McCullough was an extremely shy child. The Atlanta resident lost her father when she was a teen and years later watched her mother lose a battle with Parkinson’s disease. She survived an emotional divorce, and in 2022 she was diagnosed with follicular non-Hodgkin lymphoma.
Though she had written a book on loneliness ...Read more
Asking Eric: An update from grandmother who folded laundry ‘wrong’
Dear Eric: I don’t know if you are interested in follow-up letters, but here goes. I’m the grandma who was told she was folding her son-in-law’s T-shirts wrong (Clothes’d Off).
I had a conversation with my daughter one morning when we were out hiking. She confessed that she, too, had been told she folded his laundry wrong. Together we ...Read more
Siblings Clash Over Bakery's Future Direction
DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I co-manage our family business, a local bakery. We're clashing over its direction: I prefer to maintain our traditional baking techniques and recipes, which have served us well for years. She wants to import and sell modern, trendy breads from other shops to diversify our offerings. In short, she wants to hop on ...Read more
Must I Donate To My Friend's Charity?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a good friend who is the polar opposite of me on politics, religion and almost every other subject. We are cognizant of these differences, and refrain from debate or argument on these subjects. Amazingly, we still have things to talk about!
However, she sent me a letter in which she requested that I support a nonprofit...Read more
Breaking Free
Dear Readers: A great number of you wrote in about abusive partners and how you finally opened up the cage and flew out.
Here are two letters that I found especially interesting:
Dear Annie: While I respect "Married" for finally leaving her abuser -- I've been there myself -- I need to point something out. She mentions staying until her ...Read more
Active Lifestyle Makes It Harder To Find Love
DEAR ABBY: I'm a mature male who had a weight problem years ago. When I turned 50, I was diagnosed with metabolic syndrome, hypertension and diabetes. I took my doctor's advice about diet and 150 minutes of exercise a week. Fast-forward to today, and I have lost almost half my body weight and am now in good shape.
My problem now is finding ...Read more
Tough reporter has a new assignment: help her 20-something neighbor get a girlfriend
PHILADELPHIA — When you see Lisa DePaulo's byline, you don't think of the Cupid beat. In her career writing for publications like GQ, Vanity Fair, and New York and Philadelphia magazines, this tough cookie's element has had more to do with thugs and scoundrels who whack their girlfriends than nice guys looking for one.
But when her neighbor ...Read more
Asking Eric: After 12 years of marriage, stepdaughter still won’t speak to stepmom
Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married 12 years and have known each other for 17. Both of our previous spouses passed, before we met each other. He has two daughters and a son. His son and one daughter make me feel welcome. His other daughter, from the time I met her, has never accepted me, said my name, or spoken to me directly.
I am ...Read more
Single Mom Navigates Daughter's College Woes
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just dropped my daughter off at college last week, and she's already asking me to come back and pick her up. She's saying that college isn't for her, but she hasn't even started classes yet. This has been an emotional time for both of us as I am a single mom and she is my only daughter. She's always been introverted and has ...Read more
If It Ain't Broke ...
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a number of friends I regularly meet for meals out, as well as for friends' birthdays. We've been friends for going on 40 years and first began socializing after college, when all of us were starting our careers, paying off loans and living on shoestring budgets.
Decades later, we still keep up the tradition of paying ...Read more
How Can I Be Included in My Son's New Family?
Dear Annie: My son is married to a wonderful young woman, and they've recently started a family. She comes from a very large family; she's the youngest of nine. Our family is much smaller, consisting only of myself, my son and my daughter. We don't have any extended relatives like grandparents, aunts, uncles or cousins. It's just the three of ...Read more
May-December Online Romance Nears A Critical Moment
DEAR ABBY: I met a young man on Facebook. He is a philanthropist, and we have been talking for more than six months. He's kind and sweet, and he tells me he loves me. He works around the world as an interior designer and will be returning to the States in a couple of weeks.
The problem is, I'm 30 years older than he is. He has seen photos of me...Read more
Asking Eric: Wife fears it’s too late to leave abusive husband
Dear Eric: My husband and I are in our mid-70s, married more than 50 years. He has been physically disabled since our mid-30s, has some form of OCD (never officially diagnosed because he refuses), and now has symptoms of early dementia.
He has extreme mood swings, does not have a normal sleep pattern, is verbally abusive and demeaning, and ...Read more
Reclaiming Independence to Rebuild My Life
Dear Annie: I'm struggling to take control of my life. My parents have supported me through tough times, including addiction and an abusive relationship. I have three kids with my ex, and my parents were always there for me. After leaving my ex and moving back in with them, my mom took over the parenting responsibilities, which I reluctantly ...Read more
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