ArcaMax

DEAR READERS: I am claiming this space to celebrate my mother -- and, in turn, all mothers in our lives.

Today, my mother turns 95 years old. When I spoke to her a few days before her birthday, she said, "Well, this is not as far as my mother." Her mother, Carrie Elizabeth Alsup Freeland, a woman who stood a strong 4'9" tall, lived powerfully ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it appropriate for my daughter-in-law to say to me, "Why don't you ask us what we want, rather than just getting something that we may not want or use?"

I was offended, because I thought gift-giving was the giver's choice. Otherwise, it feels like the recipient is just placing their order with me. Offensive!

GENTLE READER...Read more

Dear Annie: I read your column every day, and I read with great interest the letter from the wife whose husband had an affair 20 years earlier. She was bitter that none of her friends told her about it.

I found myself in a similar situation, only I was the friend, and I DID tell her that her husband was cheating on her. This was 35 years ago.

...Read more

DEAR ABBY: Our friend "Carrie" revealed to our close friend group that for the last few years she has been having an affair with her best friend "Julia's" husband. Their kids are best friends, and they spend a lot of time together, even taking family vacations.

We have told Carrie many times how this can affect the kids, which she acknowledges,...Read more

We all want consistency, clarity, and conviction from leaders and movements we support. But in practice, chasing ideological purity can become a trap, leaving no room for the ambiguity, complexity, and compassion a functioning society needs. Ideological purity assumes people and ideas are simple, that we can shove ourselves into neat boxes of "...Read more

Dear Annie: I just read today's letter from "Help," and it deeply resonated with my own experiences. Like "Help," I had a narcissistic mother and spent years struggling to reconcile my relationship with her while searching for my own happiness and balance.

Living with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is extremely ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: My sister, whom I dearly love, is going through some difficult times. She confides in me about her troubles, and I gladly listen and give advice. Although I am willing to listen and help, I feel she would really benefit from seeing a therapist to help her overcome some of her challenges. I also know that her decisions are hers to make...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is incredibly stingy. We get along well in many ways, but when it comes to money, he's not what I expected. He never offers to pay for our dates. It's not that I mind splitting the bill sometimes, but I've noticed that he never makes any effort to treat me, even on special occasions. He's also extremely reluctant to ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have achieved a small degree of social and political success in my community. Unfortunately, that is not the case for my husband.

He is a wonderful spouse and does not cheat or lie; he's not a bigot or a drunk. Still, he has no friends here where we live. We have invited many couples over for cocktails, but there is never ...Read more

Dear Annie: My elderly mom wants to move from her house in the country to a smaller home in town. This is her idea, and she's already looking for a house. However, she has a house, a garage and a barn full of stuff. I estimate that it will take us about six months to sort through, dispose of, donate, etc., the excess stuff if we are allowed ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Ellis," a wonderful man, for a year and a half. This is a second marriage for each of us. My older children are on their own. Ellis has three boys (ages 15, 21 and 23) who live with us. The oldest is autistic. My husband and his ex-wife, "Mia," share joint custody, but our home is the primary home.

Mia is ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm in my early 30s, and for as long as I can remember, I've dreamed of having kids. My husband, however, is not on the same page -- he's made it clear that he's not ready for children and may never be.

I tried to respect my husband's feelings, but as time passed, my anxiety about waiting grew stronger. Eventually, I decided to ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A close friend planned to throw a party themed around a pop-culture phenomenon she is passionate about, but that I have no interest in (and actually quite dislike). I initially declined to attend, but when her guest list grew too large for her planned venue, I agreed to allow her to use my larger home for it.

I thought I ...Read more

Dear Annie: I have a friend I'll call "Scott." We have known each other for 15 years or so and have been retired for the last few years. He enjoyed working before he retired due to a plant closure.

Now Scott drinks from 8 a.m. until 2 or so in the afternoon. He is in good spirits in the morning but is an absolutely depressed person by 2. He ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I'm the mom of an 18-year-old daughter, "Leia." We have always tried to keep the lines of communication open with our children, and we have what I think is a strong, positive familial bond.

My best friend recently informed me that Leia has an Instagram account that's publicly accessible. I can't find her account when I search, which ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married for 10 years. When we first got together, he was active and in great shape. Over the years, he has gained a significant amount of weight, and his chronic obesity has now become a huge wedge in our relationship. I still love him deeply, but this drastic change in his health has impacted many ...Read more