Life Advice
/Health
Dealing With Difficult Exes
Dear Annie: How do I convey to my adult married children that I do not like being around my ex for the holidays? My son lives several states away, and he invited my daughter and her family, my ex, and my wife and me for Thanksgiving together. This will be the first time in close to seven years that I will see both of my children together for a ...Read more
Homewrecking Co-Worker
Dear Annie: My husband of 19 years had an office gathering at our home in mid-August. He has been at his job for 18 years and switched departments four years ago. I had never met any of the current team members due to my work schedule.
One of his teammates, when introduced to me, grunted when she met me. My heart sank.
As I worked my way ...Read more
Living Without My Wife
Dear Annie: My wife of 44 years passed away after a nine-day bout with cancer.
We started dating at 16, went to college together, married at 20 and graduated at 21, when we started our life together for real.
"Sally" passed away two months after her 65th birthday. I will turn 65 in a month. I was to retire in three months, while Sally was ...Read more
Letting Go Doesn't Mean You Have to Lose
Dear Readers: Thank you for all your responses to "Letting Go Is Hard to Do." We have undeniably wonderful parents among our readership. Here are two of my favorite letters.
Dear Annie: This is in response to "Letting Go Is Hard to Do," who was worried about the choices her daughter might be making at college after seeing a questionable bank ...Read more
Testy About Takeout
Dear Annie: Both my adult daughter and her husband are employed. Since they do not cook, when my husband and I visit them, which is approximately four times a year, they send out for food and ask us to pay our share of the bill, or, on occasion, she will use my credit card to pay for the whole bill. When we go out to eat at a restaurant, I ...Read more
Left Out of Family Fun
Dear Annie: I am a single mother to my one daughter, who is now 29. She moved from our hometown because that's where she met her husband, and she now has a son, my grandson, who is 1 1/2 years old. She asked me when she first got pregnant if I would move down to where they live to babysit Monday through Friday for them. Long story short, I did ...Read more
When Noisy Neighbors Keep the Whole Family Awake
Dear Annie: My husband and I plus our four children currently reside in a first floor apartment. I love this because I don't have to tell the kids to tiptoe everywhere so as not to disturb the downstairs neighbors. However, our upstairs college neighbors are extremely heavy-footed and always sound like they are on an expedition. We have only ...Read more
Should I Tell My Best Friend Her Family's Lifelong Secret?
Dear Annie: I've been best friends for over 50 years now with a girl I was neighbors with growing up. When I was about 12, I remember coming home from her house upset over the way her dad had treated her. He was always very cold and abrupt, and he treated her as less than he did her older sister.
I confided in my parents about this, and they ...Read more
Balancing Family Tension and Personal Peace
Dear Annie: My son is in a relationship with a young woman who had three children prior to meeting. They have had two additional children 11 months apart. "Jordan," his girlfriend, grew up in foster care. She went through some rough stuff. When she became pregnant with my son's first child, I vowed that I would treat her children like they ...Read more
When Love and Marriage Don't Align
Dear Annie: I've been dating a wonderful man for three years. He's everything I could want in a partner, and I'm very happy with him. He came out of a long-term marriage that ended in divorce, while I lost my spouse to cancer shortly before we met. For the first year, we kept things casual, but we've been serious about a long-term relationship...Read more
Navigating Marriage and Mental Health Together
Dear Annie: I live with bipolar disorder, which I was first diagnosed with in the early 1990s. My husband and I got together after my diagnosis, and he has been my biggest support through everything -- navigating different providers, raising my children (not his) who also had their challenges and helping me stay stable.
There have been tough ...Read more
Too Young To Hurt?
Dear Annie: I have struggled with several chronic health issues for over a decade, which often leave me fatigued, in pain or struggling with my memory. Yet because of my age (early 20s), I often get laughed off or dismissed if I bring these up.
It doesn't come from my family, friends or close co-workers, thankfully. They are all compassionate...Read more
When Canvassers Come Knocking
Dear Annie: I've been a big fan of your column for years, but I felt that some useful context was missing from a recent response about how to deal with people knocking on doors.
Having worked extensively in political outreach, I understand how frustrating unsolicited visits can be. However, canvassing for elections or other causes is hard ...Read more
Is Love Enough When Trust Feels Lost?
Dear Annie: I've been with my spouse for nine years. Lately, I feel he's so distant, and I can't help but be bothered by it. About a year ago, everything changed. He started hiding his phone, being secretive with his friends, had multiple social media accounts, etc.
I've had a gut feeling for a while, and when I talked to him about it, he ...Read more
Drawing the Line With an Ex
Dear Annie: My wife of 19 years still to this day keeps in contact with her ex-boyfriend from high school.
They dated all through high school, and after they broke up, he ran her through the mud by spreading rumors about her to all her friends and then wrote a long letter to her stating how she was a slut.
Fast-forward many years, when we ...Read more
Senioritis Struggles: Fed Up and Counting Down
Dear Annie: I'm a 17-year-old girl, and I will be turning 18 next month. I'm a senior in high school, and my grades are excellent! I've applied to all of my colleges, and now I'm waiting for the decisions, which I will find out very soon. I live in Arizona, and the schools are in New York, D.C. and North Carolina (with my first choice being in...Read more
Supporting Widows and Building Connections
Dear Readers: So many of you wrote about the widow columns that I printed recently, and made some interesting points, so I wanted to share a few of these letters with everyone.
Dear Annie: Oh, wow! I just saw this in our paper and pointed it out to my wife. She didn't believe it at first, and I was just as surprised. Widows being shunned by ...Read more
Picking Up the Pieces After a Betrayal
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 14 years. He is 9 years younger than I am, and when we got married, we each brought three children into our blended family. For the past two years, I was the primary caregiver for my mother after she had a stroke. Even before that, I spent a significant amount of my time caring for my elderly ...Read more
Family Boundaries and Paths to Healing
Dear Annie: I have a very toxic and narcissistic sister-in-law. Despite years of unpleasant family problems caused by her, my husband and his brother (her siblings) feel obligated to stay in contact with her. Now that their parents have passed away, I had hoped we could reduce this contact even further.
The issue has become more pressing as ...Read more
Is It Time to Let Go?
Dear Annie: I've been in a 14-year relationship with a man who never proposed. Early on, it didn't bother me much; we were both divorced with kids, and I'd just ended a 13-year marriage. But over time, his vague promises of "someday" have worn thin. He's lived with me for 11 years, helps with some handiwork around the house and contributes to ...Read more