ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Person A lost his wife after nearly 65 years of marriage. On what would have been their wedding anniversary a few weeks later, Person B texted Person A to say, "I'm thinking of you on your anniversary."

Person A wrote back and said, "Thank you -- it was a hard day, and I appreciate you thinking of me." Person B texted back, "...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend and I both have baby girls: Hers is about 6 months old, and mine is 3 months. She has given me a whole bunch of her little girl's clothes -- such a high volume of items that some still had the tags on.

My friend began offering me these clothes before I'd even had my baby; I initially refused, multiple times, because...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friends, all gainfully employed adults, will often invite a group out to dinner or drinks to celebrate an occasion, like a birthday or professional milestone.

In some cases, it's communicated that it will be a "no-host event," with guests paying for themselves. If not, it's understood that the host will treat the group.

...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is a talented chef. She has a job cooking for a family of four. They appreciate her food, are not too terribly picky, and pay better than her former thankless jobs in "hospitality."

The problem is that their kitchen is simply one area of a large, open family space. A lot of her prep work is done at an island, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How should I address ChatGPT? I deal with this creation every day. It responds to my questions and requests in a friendly, chatty manner. Its responses seem almost human.

Am I required to say "hello" to it before I begin? Must I say "please" when asking my questions? Must I thank it afterwards?

Or is it acceptable to treat ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I take my sons to the pediatrician or call to make an appointment, the receptionist or nurse always calls me Mom. I give them my name, but they never use it, and continue to call me Mom.

I love being a mom, don't get me wrong. And I love my sons. But this drives me bananas. I'm not these people's mom!

Am I overreacting?...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Am I the one who is in the wrong here? When I invited several friends to dinner recently, I was shamed and criticized about what I was serving.

One of my friends invited another guest to join us, and it turns out he is a very strict vegan. I wasn't even aware that he was coming.

Prior to dinner, this fussy/picky guest ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was walking in the humanities building of the university where I am a graduate student. I turned the corner of the hallway that leads to the offices and saw one of my professors lying in the middle of the hall at the bottom of a few steps.

She had two other professors around her, and I could hear that they believed she had ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Some years ago, my uncle, having never met my then-boyfriend, made a series of racist jokes about him. (My boyfriend is part-Asian.)

These jokes were made on my blog, which another family member had shared with my uncle without my consent. For example, if I wrote that I was attending a party, my uncle would comment, "Make ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I started going gray at age 14, so I've gotten a lot of comments about my appearance over the last 20 years -- shockingly, ALL from women.

From my friends' moms ("You're too young for gray hair!") to professors ("You should really dye your hair; you look so old") to strangers on the street, women seem to feel that the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a young adult who bought a home in one of the highest-cost resort areas of the country -- a purchase that strains me financially, but is well worth it.

While I love my friends and family, I have been astounded by the number of people who came out of the woodwork, asking to come visit, when they learned where I lived. It'...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I don't know what to do about my boyfriend's habit of always canceling plans.

We have been together for a little over three years, and when he does follow through with plans, we have a great time together. The relationship is great otherwise. I have discussed this with him several times, but nothing seems to change.

There ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was picking up food at a restaurant when a young lady approached the counter to retrieve her order. She was wearing a lovely white dress. Unfortunately, her bright, colorful, patterned undies were quite visible through the dress's fabric.

I was unsure how, or if, I should approach her to suggest pairing a slip or skin-tone ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be religious, many years ago, but I now identify as pagan -- meaning that I believe in the powers of Mother Earth, and that everything she's created is sacred.

My beliefs are personal, and I don't discuss them with others unless directly asked.

Because the majority of people believe in God, there's a general ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was active-duty military, eligible to shop in the commissary, where goods were somewhat less expensive than at a civilian market. My pay was also less than the equivalent civilian profession.

A civilian mom who lived upstairs from me once sent her child to ask me for a can of tuna. I supplied them with a can of albacore ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper response when a casual acquaintance tells you that they have been diagnosed with a very serious illness?

This is a person I have no connection to or interest in getting to know better. We merely pass each other in our building while picking up the mail or going to the parking lot.

My reply, as I was ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it appropriate for my daughter-in-law to say to me, "Why don't you ask us what we want, rather than just getting something that we may not want or use?"

I was offended, because I thought gift-giving was the giver's choice. Otherwise, it feels like the recipient is just placing their order with me. Offensive!

GENTLE READER...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have achieved a small degree of social and political success in my community. Unfortunately, that is not the case for my husband.

He is a wonderful spouse and does not cheat or lie; he's not a bigot or a drunk. Still, he has no friends here where we live. We have invited many couples over for cocktails, but there is never ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A close friend planned to throw a party themed around a pop-culture phenomenon she is passionate about, but that I have no interest in (and actually quite dislike). I initially declined to attend, but when her guest list grew too large for her planned venue, I agreed to allow her to use my larger home for it.

I thought I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please help me with line etiquette when faced with the following scenario.

Person A enters the post office and gets behind five people in line. There is a group at the table, fussing with packages (addressing, taping, stuffing boxes, etc.). Person A finally makes it to the head of the line, but when "Next!" is called, Person ...Read more