ArcaMax

Dear Eric: My adult son was a stellar athlete and scholar in our small Midwest high school. But as the years went on, he ended up suffering from chronic pain due to a back injury, which thwarted a career path after college. A year ago, he was diagnosed with long Covid, which he and his partner still have. He recently also received a mental ...Read more

Dear Eric: My brother and sister-in-law visit infrequently, usually only once or twice a year, including a major holiday. After each visit I tell my husband that we will not host them again.

In the past, their arrival/departure times have been inconvenient. They converse loudly after others have retired for the evening or before others have ...Read more

Dear Eric: My youngest daughter, a pediatrician, got a divorce two years ago (her husband had been taking money from her practice and not telling her). Her mother and I divorced 40 years ago and are on good terms. For whatever reason, my present wife and I almost never saw her or her kids. There was no falling out or other reason for her not to ...Read more

Dear Eric: Even though I started off school smart and curious, starting middle school, I did horribly. I couldn't manage my time wisely. I couldn't organize my thoughts, and it was paralyzing. They suggested I be tested for ADHD. I was able to mask any symptoms with a proctor standing over my shoulder, so I passed with flying colors. They ...Read more

Dear Eric: I'm not close to my sister. Over the years, there has been very little contact, except when she needs money. She and two of her adult daughters have called asking for money, one asking more than once. I want to keep peace in the family, so I've given it to them. They said they would pay it back. Not only have they not done so, but ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband loves going to the gym since he has retired. But he goes at 11 p.m. or 12 midnight. He said that going at that time there are just a couple of people there and he has access to all the machines, which is fine. The downside is that when he comes back home at 1:30-2 a.m. the garage door or the lights or the door just opening...Read more

Dear Eric: Within five years of each other, both of my adult children died of illness and an accident. It has been three years since the second loss, and the grief is still harsh. But I am getting counseling.

I was a young mother, so I have years left to be active. I am finding new ways to be of service in my community, especially with ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am 80 years old and have been married to the best possible wife for 33 years. We connect and are soulmates. My question is: why have I recently found myself jealous about her affair with a 17-year-old high school student when she was a 27-year-old teacher? This was mentioned a long time ago in our sharing about former relationships....Read more

Dear Eric: I have a friend I’ve known since high school. We are now in our 30s. Although we are different and have different interests, we have enough common ground to maintain our friendship. I've traveled extensively outside the country and she wants us to go on an international trip together. I do not want to, but I don't know how to say it...Read more

Dear Eric: I'm a 52-year-old divorced guy, no long-term steady relationship for a couple of years now, but for the last four months I have been dating an early-40s lady, "Marie". We each own our own home and there has been no thought of living together, or even really seeing ourselves as a real couple, but we each had a house key to the other's ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband had Alzheimer’s and spent his last couple of years in memory care in a retirement community where many friends live. We had been very close to these folks in the past, and my husband remained so delighted to see them, even if he couldn’t remember names and events.

They visited seldom or not at all, although you could ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married for 11 years. When we got married, he was slightly hard of hearing. The past few months his hearing has gotten worse to the point that I have to raise my voice and repeat several times for him to hear me. He then accused me of shouting at him and said if I didn't mumble he could hear me. He further ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am a widower in my mid-70s. No family, no kids. Multimillionaire; drive a Maserati; am social; look (if friends are truthful) 20 years younger; well-traveled. But I have no friends. Lots of acquaintances, bartenders, wait staff whose attention I enjoy, but no one I feel close to. Don't suggest church, as I am a secular humanist. I ...Read more

Dear Eric: I met this wonderful lady a year ago on a dating site. We hit it off and have been together ever since. We enjoy the same things. We spend the weekends at each other's houses. I love her, and she loves me.

The issue is intimacy. While I enjoy the closeness, holding hands, hugging, cuddling on the couch, I just don't enjoy sex with ...Read more

Dear Eric: I grew up in a hoarding house. My childhood was a nightmare of shame and helplessness. As soon as I was able, I got out of that house.

I now own my own home with my husband. We make it an inviting and clean space. But my parents continue to live that way, and no one can go to the house. If family comes from out of town, I have to ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband thinks husbands and wives shouldn't travel separately unless absolutely necessary, that solo trips just open the door for all kinds of issues such as infidelity. (He's speaking from personal experience.) As a travel agent, I'd often enjoyed solo travel before we were married, including while we were dating, and I miss it. I...Read more

Dear Eric: I am a 63-year-old female who has been married for 45 years to a wonderful man. We’ve been blessed with a great relationship but the last two years I’ve developed a phobia about riding or driving a car on the highway. I’m fine on city streets and residential streets, but when getting on the highways I have started to have ...Read more

Dear Eric: I have a group of three girlfriends from middle school/high school. We stayed close during college and were in each other’s weddings, etc. I have known these women for more than 50 years.

There is one person in the group that I have been consistently close with over the many years. The other two I did not and there was a more than ...Read more

Dear Eric: I don’t know if you are interested in follow-up letters, but here goes. I’m the grandma who was told she was folding her son-in-law’s T-shirts wrong (Clothes’d Off).

I had a conversation with my daughter one morning when we were out hiking. She confessed that she, too, had been told she folded his laundry wrong. Together we ...Read more