Life Advice
/Health
Asking Eric: After 50 years, friend wants to be done with the group
Dear Eric: I have a group of three girlfriends from middle school/high school. We stayed close during college and were in each other’s weddings, etc. I have known these women for more than 50 years.
There is one person in the group that I have been consistently close with over the many years. The other two I did not and there was a more than ...Read more
Asking Eric: An update from grandmother who folded laundry ‘wrong’
Dear Eric: I don’t know if you are interested in follow-up letters, but here goes. I’m the grandma who was told she was folding her son-in-law’s T-shirts wrong (Clothes’d Off).
I had a conversation with my daughter one morning when we were out hiking. She confessed that she, too, had been told she folded his laundry wrong. Together we ...Read more
Asking Eric: After 12 years of marriage, stepdaughter still won’t speak to stepmom
Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married 12 years and have known each other for 17. Both of our previous spouses passed, before we met each other. He has two daughters and a son. His son and one daughter make me feel welcome. His other daughter, from the time I met her, has never accepted me, said my name, or spoken to me directly.
I am ...Read more
Asking Eric: Wife fears it’s too late to leave abusive husband
Dear Eric: My husband and I are in our mid-70s, married more than 50 years. He has been physically disabled since our mid-30s, has some form of OCD (never officially diagnosed because he refuses), and now has symptoms of early dementia.
He has extreme mood swings, does not have a normal sleep pattern, is verbally abusive and demeaning, and ...Read more
Asking Eric: Husband keeping wife in the dark about finances
Dear Eric: I’m a 62-year-old female and have been married to my second husband (a 65-year-old male) for 30 years. Empty nesters. Never once has my husband divulged to me what his financial situation is. Now that I am disabled and don’t work anymore, I depend on him financially. He just tells me to not spend so much. I don’t by any means. I...Read more
Asking Eric: Wife fears she’s abusing husband with Alzheimer’s
Dear Eric: My husband of almost 60 years has Alzheimer’s. At this point, he does not know who I am other than “some nice lady” who comes to see him. I initiate and have sex with him. Our initial dating and marriage were very sexual but went on to deteriorate due to his multiple flings and affairs. By the time he was diagnosed, we had not ...Read more
Asking Eric: Partner’s familial estrangement is a deal breaker
Dear Eric: My partner and I are closing in on our third anniversary, and as we begin to talk seriously about the prospect of marriage, I've found myself a bit troubled with a certain aspect of our relationship. I have not met his family once. This is my first "serious adult" relationship (I am 25; he is 34), so I don't always know how to gauge ...Read more
Asking Eric: Husband says the wrong thing after sex
Dear Eric: My husband and I have an active sex life. But, after sex, he says “Thank You”. I know he appreciates it, but I feel a bit cheap after hearing him say that. I would prefer something like "I love you". I've told him that, but he doesn't seem to understand. Am I being petty, or should I expect more?
– No Thank You
Dear No Thank ...Read more
Asking Eric: New mom feels guilty over very late thank you notes
Dear Eric: In spite of my best intentions, I have unfortunately been a poor gift receiver as of late. I had a baby last year, my first, and my family and friends blessed me so deeply as we prepared to receive him. I had not one, not two, but three(!) lovely showers given.
I truly did my best to keep up with thank you notes. I sent out the notes...Read more
Asking Eric: Grandson’s name brings up grief for grandmother
Dear Eric: My daughter is having her fourth child. She wants to name him after her brother who died of suicide three years ago. I'm not sure I'm ready for that but everyone says let her commemorate her brother. I don't know how I’ll feel holding this baby and calling him by my son’s name. It still hurts and I cry when I think about him. I ...Read more
Asking Eric: Foster parent wants to be done with drama
Dear Eric: Twelve years ago, I was a foster parent for a 12-year-old. “Angel” was reunified with her father after a year and when that blew up, she came back to live with me.
At one point I petitioned the court and was granted legal custody. She has left and come back multiple times over the years.
Angel just had a baby and is struggling ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend’s treatment of ailing cat is hard to take
Dear Eric: Ordinarily, my friend is loving and affectionate to her middle-aged cat. She takes good care of him, with food, water, and attention. Today, she told me her cat has a condition that requires medical care, but she feels the vet just wants her money.
Instead, she is choosing a less costly homeopathic route, along with supplements and a...Read more
Asking Eric: Sister’s ex doesn’t know she’s back in town
Dear Eric: My sister was engaged to a guy, “Peter.” I’ve known Peter for a long time. Not long before the wedding, she broke the engagement because she met someone else, “Rick.”
She married Rick and they moved away. Peter and I have never really spoken about my sister or what happened, but I know he was deeply hurt. I’ve not heard ...Read more
Asking Eric: Father-in-law’s partner makes visits unbearable
Dear Eric: My father-in-law is in a relationship with a person that makes staying at his home during a visit an awful experience for me, my husband and our kids. My husband is not one to confront and is simply too kind and shy to stand up to this woman who has taken over hosting.
He also does not have open communication with his father to let ...Read more
Asking Eric: 11-year-old nephew bullies uncle and cousins
Dear Eric: Our 11-year-old nephew (on my husband's side) is like Dudley from the “Harry Potter” series. He's spoiled, entitled, rude and disrespectful to young and old family members. Family gatherings have become very stressful and tense due to his behavior.
Meals and mealtimes always have to revolve around his taste and timeframe...Read more
Asking Eric: Estranged mom struggles with son’s wedding invite
Dear Eric: I’m attending my estranged son’s wedding. As the mother of the groom, I’m unsure of what my responsibilities are. More importantly, his wife-to-be is Buddhist. I have absolutely no problem with this, what I’m unsure about is the gift and the attire. I know that you aren’t supposed to wear black, white or patterns of any kind...Read more
Asking Eric: Husband’s grudge against mother-in-law affecting family
Dear Eric: I, a 45-year-old female, have been married to my husband, a 45-year-old male, for eight years. He has never called my mom by her first name or any other name like "Ma". When we visit my mother, he'll walk past her without a word.
I feel caught in the middle, making excuses saying things like he's tired or something like that.
When ...Read more
Asking Eric: Ex-friend left behind dead cat
Dear Eric: Before a summer trip to visit family in 2019, a friend’s cat passed away. She wrapped the kitty in one of her husband’s T-shirts and buried it in the desert backyard, maybe two feet deep. Around the day she was leaving, she discovered that desert fauna had slipped inside the backyard fence and disturbed the site. She told me she ...Read more
Asking Eric: Daughter-in-law wants to be too close
Dear Eric: My daughter-in-law wants a much closer relationship with me than I feel comfortable with. She began calling me “mom” when she and my son first got engaged. I’ve told her several times that I would prefer to be called by my first name, but she still calls me mom.
A few months after the wedding, she began dropping by my house ...Read more
Asking Eric: Grieving daughter won’t let mom sell childhood home
Dear Eric: I have an adult daughter who moved out but does not want me to change her former bedroom.
She had a breakup seven years ago that caused a nervous breakdown because of the cruel way it was done: packing her things up and mailing them to our house. She moved back in with us as a result of this breakup and started therapy.
After many ...Read more