Humor
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Jerry Zezima: A pain in the grass
According to an old saying, which can probably be attributed to my neighbors, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
But now that my neighbors have installed a new fence, and a landscaper has worked turf magic on my once-barren property, I can happily say that the grass is green on my side, too.
For the past several years,...Read more
Patton Oswalt on Voting for Kamala, Crazy Phone Banking Call & New Comic Book Barfly
Patton talks about voting early, voting for Kamala and concerns for the future, why he loves phonebanking, the craziest call he ever made, the new series “Shatter Belt,” being one of the writers of a new comic book called Barfly, and holding his own comic book convention - Comic Creators Block Party!
Will Trump Pardon His Cronies & Himself? Ricky Velez Makes the Case | The Daily Show
If Trump wins, many fear he will abuse the criminal justice system to take down his enemies and pardon his friends. But are there positives to presidential pardons? Ricky Velez makes his case in a new “In My Opinion.”
Wolverine, but it's Danny DeVito
Wolverine, but it's Danny DeVito
Meanwhile... Monkey Chugs A Beer | Dua Lipa's Diet Coke Recipe | Cookie Monster's Traffic Ticket
Meanwhile... A video of a monkey chugging beer went viral, Stephen tries Dua Lipa's recipe for a spicy diet soda, and a German traffic camera caught Cookie Monster speeding.
Critic mocks 3 Amigos as Chevy Chase sits right there
Siskel & Ebert vs. Johnny Carson & Chevy Chase
"SEAGULLS! (Stop It Now)" -- A Bad Lip Reading of The Empire Strikes Back
Yoda is not fond of seagulls.
Schoolteacher and the Judge
In the traffic court of a large Midwestern city, a young woman was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket she received for driving through a red light. She explained to the judge that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case so she could get to the school on time.
A wild gleam came into the judge's eyes....Read more
Holmes and Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were camping in the forest. They had gone to bed and were lying beneath the night sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?"
"I see thousands of stars."
"And what does that mean to you?" Holmes asked.
"I suppose it means that of all the planets in the universe, we are truly fortunate to be here on ...Read more
Scrubbing Bulkheads
I was scrubbing the bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday morning when the loud-speaker announced:
"Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. Dis- continue all unnecessary work."
An hour later, the opinion many of us held regarding our daily routine, was confirmed with this announcement:
"Resume all unnecessary work."
Real Smart
This one happened few years ago in Switzerland: A man went to a photo shop, had pictures taken, and - while the photographer developed the pictures - he took off with the cash register.
Leaving behind, of course, the pictures of himself.
Computers and Cars
At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared The computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release ...Read more
Top Gun with a Cat
A Parody of Top Gun Maverick (and scenes from the original!) starring OwlKitty
Deadpool & Wolverine & The Bachelorette
Everyone seemed to like the Deadpool Bachelorette spot last night but can we talk about the episode? Thought Jenn made some strong choices, except for sending my countryman Brendan packing. Marcus is easy on the eyes, Grant was a little much and the day trading thing, but I get it. Two Sams will get confusing so slightly leaning towards Sam N. ...Read more
Jessica Williams on Getting to Know Harrison Ford, Working on The Daily Show & Texting with Her Mom
Jessica talks about the mystery of Harrison Ford, working together on “Shrinking,” texting with her Mom and people over the age of 65, being a correspondent on “The Daily Show,” getting a wonderful compliment from Jon Stewart, being on a Nickelodeon show as a teenager and buying a PT Cruiser.
Do You Have The Murder Gene?
Find out with this new Trump-inspired genetic test!
Honest Trailers | Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
Take a look at the Honest Trailer for a Mad Max prequel that will have you so pumped you'll want to drive a big rig through an Outback Steakhouse
Family Feud Election 2024 Cold Open - SNL
Host Steve Harvey (Kenan Thompson) welcomes key players in the 2024 election, like Kamala Harris (Maya Rudolph), Doug Emhoff (Andy Samberg), Tim Walz (Jim Gaffigan) and Joe Biden (Dana Carvey), to face off against Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson), Donald Trump Jr. (Mikey Day) and JD Vance (Bowen Yang) in a game of Family Feud.
When Napportunity Knocks
"When's dinner?" my husband asked me when he got home as I stood in the kitchen stirring a sauce.
"Pretty soon," I replied.
"Do you mind if I close my eyes for a minute?" he requested, putting down his bag and taking off his jacket.
I nodded. When most people say they're going to close their eyes for a minute, they actually mean more like ...Read more
Things To Do In A Drive Through Lane, part 1
Stand close to the speaker and yell your order, using colorful expletives in ways which would embarrass the patrons inside.
Drive through backwards.
Belch your order.
After ordering, cover the speaker and mic with transparent tape. Watch as customers and order-takers are unable to hear each other and, thus, each raises his/her volume.
Barter...Read more
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