Taking the Kids: When newfound friendships lead the way

Bailey Kilmer has friends all over the country and beyond, but she hasn’t met them by traveling. That’s because Bailey’s family owns the historic Vee Bar Ranch in Wyoming’s Snowy Range, about 20 miles west from Laramie along the banks of the Little Laramie River.

“It is really cool to know what different places are like without going there,” Bailey, 13, said. That includes her friends, Valentina Ducharme, 10, and Emma Price, 16, who are here from San Diego for 10 days and have been back at the ranch for several years, now coming at the same time.

When visiting new places, certainly we want our kids and grandkids to learn something new and share new experiences with us. But often, we forget how valuable it can be for kids simply to connect with other kids from other places.

I remember being on a Princess cruise in Japan when the young teens aboard from all around the world begged their parents to let them stay on board rather than explore great sites so that they could spend more time with their newfound friends. Language doesn’t matter.

“We use a lot of sign language,” explained one young teen from London cruising with her family in Japan aboard the Diamond Princess. “You meet a lot of different people from different parts of the world, and you spend a crazy time with all of them,” she explained, her friends all giggling at her side.

“We’d much rather be on the ship than touring,” said another teen from Toronto.

Such interactions may take place on playgrounds for younger kids, as well as parents. Local moms and dads can offer suggestions on where to go, and children will see that kids really are more alike than different the world over.

Older kids may make those connections at a pickup soccer, basketball or volleyball game in a park or the beach. They may connect at kids’ activities at a resort, as well as on a cruise ship or ranch.

One grandfather vacationing with his two young granddaughters at Paradise Guest Ranch, also in Wyoming, marveled that the duo, as well as the other children, were all fast friends by the second day. And no one seemed to be missing their devices as there wasn’t much Wi-Fi.

At Vee Bar, though there is Wi-Fi in and around the main lodge, the girls are glad for the lack of TVs in the cabins. “It makes me want to get outside,” Emma explained.

“Being able to disconnect makes it a more valuable experience,” believes Kari Kilmer.

In some cases, families say, they opt to vacation at the same place at the same time each year to foster such friendships. Just ask Valentina Ducharme and Emma Price. This is Emma’s fifth visit and Valentina’s third. “I feel like this is my second home,” Emma Price said. “We love it so much,” Valentina agreed.

Though the two live in San Diego, they didn’t know each other before coming to the ranch.

They are never bored because there is so much to do. Besides riding, there are hikes, archery, fly fishing, wagon rides, cookouts, and the “John Wayne Saloon,” where they can play pool and board games.

Amy Phillips, Emma’s mom, and Valentina’s mom, Nicola Ducharme, added that a real plus has been the friends their two daughters – both only children – have made, including Bailey Kilmer.

“We count down all year to the trip,” Nicola said.

Bailey, the oldest of four, has introduced them to many of the ranch animals – goats, calves (there is a 650-herd of cattle), sheep, and the ranch dogs, including a corgi named Penny, and her daughter named Dot.

Her life couldn’t be more different than the two girls growing up in San Diego. Bailey is homeschooled, helps with chores, including helping to care for newborn calves, as well as her own horses, and participates in the Wyoming Junior Rodeo, but that doesn’t seem to matter.

“The real focus here is on you as a person,” Emma explained.

“There is so much time here to connect with friends,” added Valentina. That includes meals, served buffet style with kids and families encouraged to share tables.

“I like hanging out with the guests,” Bailey said, noting that an atmosphere like the ranch helps people to relax and forget (at least for a while) “their life problems.”

At smaller places, I’ve found, it can be easier for kids to connect. Vee Bar has just a maximum of 30 guests. On cruise ships or at larger resorts, it’s a good idea to encourage the kids (even the reluctant ones) to attend an activity the first day, counselors and kids suggest. It’s easier when everyone is new and finding their way. It can also be easier for grandparents worried about entertaining their grandchildren as more travel with them, leaving parents behind.

“Whoever you are and wherever you are from, you become part of the group,” notes Kari Kilmer. She adds that if you are thinking about next year, book now as the ranch typically is fully booked many months in advance.

The 80-acre ranch surrounded by at least a square mile of state land dates back to the 1880s and is now on the National Registry of Historic Buildings with some of the original buildings still in use. Bailey’s great-grandfather and grandfather bought the ranch in 1994. Kari and Brent Kilmer took over from her father and grandfather in 2006. The main lodge serves as a bed & breakfast during the winter. And unlike other ranches, Vee Bar offers a three-night package for those who might not be ready to commit for a week. Kids six and older can ride and they will try to accommodate those with challenges.

“I can’t wait until I’m old enough to work here,” said Emma.

How many vacation spots would your kids say that about?

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(For more Taking the Kids, visit www.takingthekids.com and also follow TakingTheKids on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram where Eileen Ogintz welcomes your questions and comments. The fourth edition of The Kid’s Guide to New York City and the third edition of The Kid’s Guide to Washington D.C. are the latest in a series of 14 books for kid travelers published by Eileen.)