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Q: While my husband was away on a weeklong business trip, I had a male friend from the office come over to eat and brainstorm a work project. After my young daughter fell asleep, we hung out watching movies together. When I told my husband about it, he got upset and feels that I’ve betrayed him. I think he’s overreacting; what’s your take?

Jim: I think you may not like my answer. While your motives may have been innocent, in my opinion inviting a male co-worker over while your husband is out of town oversteps appropriate boundaries.

Obviously, many married people enjoy healthy, non-romantic friendships with individuals of the opposite sex. But it’s important to handle these relationships wisely and to be on constant guard. If you really want to preserve the health of your marriage, you’ve got to have intentional boundaries in place.

Sad but true, it’s far easier than you may think to cross the line from a platonic friendship into a seemingly “harmless” romance. The danger is especially high when you and the other person have a lot in common. If these shared interests and compatibility of temperament lead you to entertain “innocuous” thoughts such as, “This person understands me better than my spouse,” you’re already way out on thin ice.

I’ll presume your marriage is very important to you. So, I’d encourage a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Listen to his hurt and try to see things from his viewpoint. Acknowledge that you made a mistake and reassure him of your love. If he’s unable to let it go, my guess is that there are deeper trust issues that the two of you need to work through. Our staff counselors would be happy to help you, so please give them a call at 855-771-HELP (4357).

Q: I have three kids, ages 8, 7 and 5. They’re starting to fight a lot. What can I be teaching them about handling sibling conflicts?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: “Teaching” is the right word -- it’s going to be a process. Sibling conflicts likely won’t disappear, but it’s the content of the conflict that matters. In other words, there can be healthy and unhealthy sibling conflict. Healthy conflict can involve love, trust and maturity mixed with differences of opinions, taste and interests. Unhealthy conflict can come from selfishness, jealousy and anger -- and can be destructive and hurtful.

Here are a few things to teach your kids about healthy conflict:

1. Self-awareness is important. Emotions are signals of something deeper. Help kids learn to identify the emotion and to think through what that is telling them. For example, frustration may tell a child that they feel unheard or that something is unfair.

2. Self-reflection is also important. Teach them some key questions. What do I want? What do I need? Why do I want to argue or get upset about this? What’s it like to be with me?

3. Listen first. Humility means carefully listening to others and considering their desires, wants and loves. Listening helps us perceive better, which helps us gain more understanding and clarity.

4. It’s OK to be upset and to disagree. Teach kids ways to do this respectfully by not trying to overpower or put down the other person to gain control.

5. Bring patience and self-control to the conflict. These traits help the conflict move in a positive direction. Whenever possible, highlight what patience and self-control look like in the specific moment of conflict.

Remember: Neither you nor your kids will get this perfect. Have fun, have resets and lean in! For more practical parenting tips customized to the ages of your kids and sent to your inbox, sign up at www.MyKidsAge.com.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2025 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.