Dear Kid Whisperer,

I’m a music teacher in a public middle school. A handful of students consistently lose their music. They are issued a folder and copies of the music at the beginning of the year, but so many can’t keep track of it. Though I know they should just make the copies on their own, our students aren’t allowed to use the copy machine, and I don’t want to reward them with attention and an interesting trip to the teachers’ lounge. What do I do?

Answer: You have some good instincts! Let’s follow your good thoughts with mine.

Taking your time to help them with this sends the message that keeping track of their belongings is your problem. Rallying your least responsible kids together to do a special little project without them solving the problem that this causes for you gives attention to irresponsible behavior and teaches them that their mistakes are your problem.

I can tell that you already know that these are all mistakes, which makes me very confident that you will do what I am about to suggest, here and now, as we join our hero at the beginning of third period eighth-grade band.

Kid #1: Well, shucky-darn. I seem to have found a way to lose my music yet again.

Kid #2: Oopsy-daisies! Me too.

Kid #3: Golly! I’ll be! Wouldn’t you just know it! Teacher! Service please. We need Beethoven’s 5th in B minor.

Kid Whisperer: Yikes. Did you all lose your music?

Kid #2: Yes, we did. We need it post-haste.

Kid Whisperer: Yikes. How are you going to solve your problem?

Kid #1: Wait. What? Our problem? This is your class! We need our music!

Kid Whisperer: Yikes. I don’t know what to tell you. Feel free to solve your problem in any way that doesn’t cause a problem while staying in the room. You will be required to produce music for your next class period.

Kid #1: BUT HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PLAY MUSIC!?!?! HOW WILL WE GET A PARTICIPATION GRADE!?!?!?

Kid Whisperer: I don’t know. (To the kids with music in front of them): And a one and a two and….

(Kids with music play music; kids without music look on, while perhaps considering being more responsible next time.)

Later, during non-instructional time, Kid Whisperer collects Kids #1-#3, and says the following in the teacher’s lounge.

Kid Whisperer: Yikes. This really stresses me out. I had to find this music and walk across the school to retrieve you fine folks. Now I have to do all this extra talking and standing (Kid Whisperer almost loses his balance, and must steady himself by holding onto the copier). Yikes. I’m going to have you copy these for you, and afterward, we’re going to go straight to my music room so you guys can do a bunch of stressful work in my room that I was going to do, but am now too stressed out to do. Would it be inappropriate for you all to carry me to the music room? Probably. Let’s not do that. I have plenty for you to do so that I can become stress free, once again.

At that point, I could have my students clean/arrange instruments, chairs, music stands, etc.

Once Kids are done destressing me, I thank them warmly with a handshake.

If any Kids refuse to destress me, that non-instructional time each day or week will be the place they go until they successfully solve the problem that they caused.

Doing this not only teaches the lesson that if you cause a problem you must solve it, but also that being irresponsible is not a functional way to live your life. Also, through their own efforts, your students have solved their problem, and will have their music.

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