ArcaMax

As a single parent (Chairman of the Board) your first loyalty is to your children. Yes, you are an adult with normal needs for affection, but sleepover lovers are an intrusion into the innocence of your on-premises children. Reserve that kind of loving for times when the little ones are not at home.

You probably know by now how strongly I feel about nutrition and the single person. Rushed, on your own, many nights you probably don't eat right. For the straight scoop on foods, consider subscribing to the newsletter of the Center for Science in the Public Interest. Their extraordinary colorful posters are worth mentioning.

How I love to suggest following your interests, mingling with other like-minded people as a way to a richer, more fulfilling life. Join a group centered around an interest of yours and the people you meet there you can be certain to already share it. Not a bad way to start a friendly circle. And there is the possibility of introductions to other like-minded people! And that friendly group would have never been part of your life if you hadn't taken that first step! Think about it.

Consciously work hard to keep former lovers in your life. The friendship that once existed between you doesn't have to be totally trashed when passion dies. That person knows you so well, and can be a potential buddy, if things are intelligently handled. As long as the two of you understand the new rules of conduct and don't have any unresolved angst, this ex-lover has the potential to be a good friend. And you never can have too many of them, for sure. The friendship that once existed between you shouldn't be discarded. Yes, it must be handled intelligently, with mutual respect, and if you both are up for it, it's a plus for both people.

As often as is reasonable, include your children in your social life. (Note: social, not sexual life.) Be careful not to raise their expectations about a possible new father/mother, and for Pete's sake, don't let them see more than they can handle. But on daytime excursions to parks, bowling, movies, long walks in the park and other fun times, include them in your social life. It's also a great way to learn about the person you're with, but that's a secondary perk. The main one? Childhood passes so very quickly. Enough said.

If I were asked to compress my advice into two words, they would be: BE REAL. Think about it.

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Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at susan@single-file.com. We've uncovered another treasure trove of "Single File" paperbacks -- in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.