ArcaMax

Dear Susan: I was widowed in February after being married 35 years. My husband and I married in our 30s, so I do have some experience being single, but now I'm sort of lost. Our marriage was so close we kept our friends at the periphery, which only adds to my problems. Have you some back material I could download or purchase online? Thank you. -...Read more

There's a fiction circling singleworld that making your life comfortable and secure while you're unmarried consigns you to a life sentence there, with no chance of parole or reprieve. Well, this lady engineer is over the moon to announce that the myth is pure fiction! The reality? The more interesting you make your singleness, the more relaxed ...Read more

--Readiness is all. The same person who didn't stir you 10 years ago might just knock your socks off today because you've grown and now see their better points ... and maybe -- just maybe -- because you're now ready to make the commitment. Stay open.

--How many people do you know who look at marriage as an experience rather than a commitment? (...Read more

The situation has eased somewhat, but the divorced dads of this world are still having a tough time winning custody of their children. The role of primary caregiver is usually given to the woman, and the man of the house has no more house -- nor home. His children become part-time guests. His family role is decimated -- as is his bank account ...Read more

Meditation is a proven path to inner thoughts, to thoughts circling consciousness. It can serve as a quiet time in your busy life, a few minutes of total calm in which you allow your mind the quietude and rest it needs -- and certainly deserves. In the 15 minutes or so of quiet time, meditating, you'll hear the voice of your inner thoughts ...Read more

Single parenting can be lonely, coming back to needy children and a partnerless home every night. But calling for a Family Council every Friday night, when the kids can sleep late the next day (and so can you), can put some fun and pizza into the week for all of you. It's a great time to air grievances, big and small, and let every voice feel ...Read more

Get closer to your parents. Like most corny advice, this one's pure gold. These people who sired you and raised you into adulthood are special in your life, unique and irreplaceable, too often ignored in the rush to adulthood. Take them to dinner, one at a time, and let them get to know their offspring as an adult, and a loving one at that. It ...Read more

As a single parent (Chairman of the Board) your first loyalty is to your children. Yes, you are an adult with normal needs for affection, but sleepover lovers are an intrusion into the innocence of your on-premises children. Reserve that kind of loving for times when the little ones are not at home.

You probably know by now how strongly I feel ...Read more

A book reviewer recently called "Single File" an advanced course in Life Engineering, and the name fits like a glove! Because once you tune in to the opportunity that comes with singleness, you become Chairman of the Board, responsible for every decision big and small. Once you get the hang of life unpartnered -- and, yes, these are times of ...Read more

"People find it difficult to take risks of love because they do not feel anyone has ever loved them without reservation or conditions. They do not feel worthy." Those are the words of Dr. David Viscott, author of a favorite book of mine, "Risking," an oldie in my library, a fount of wisdom to be read again and again, at different phases of my ...Read more

For the record, this columnist needs a posting of her own. Needled by some recent reader comments -- not always in the most generous spirit -- she (moi) needs to air some thoughts in response. Bear with me, all ye of good faith, as I take time to vent my spleen.

For openers, this column is not dedicated to partnering every extant/breathing ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I just re-read your column about "apartners," and I'm sending along my 2 cents. Since my marriage ended two years ago, I've been lucky enough to share some personally productive relationships. Currently, I'm dating someone with the strength of character to be himself with me, and we're having a wonderful time. But as much as I like ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: Recently, I reconnected with a man I knew four years ago during college days. We spent a whole day in wine country, and it became clear that money is a major issue for him. He griped the whole day about spending money to taste wine and made a fuss about having dinner at the end of the day, sore at having to treat me. Keep in mind ...Read more