City Dweller Exposed To Drug Usage
DEAR HARRIETTE: Today I saw and smelled someone smoking crack on a subway platform near to where I was standing. I was stunned. I know it happens all around my city -- in theory -- but I've never truly witnessed it in real time, only the aftereffects of it. What could I have done in that moment to help that situation? The subway platform was packed. There were little kids with their parents standing nearby, businesspeople and others. It felt unsafe and gross. None of us should be exposed to these sorts of reckless substances unknowingly. -- Crack Exposure
DEAR CRACK EXPOSURE: Sadly, many people continue to use drugs like crack, and enclosed public spaces are often where they use them, especially when it is cold outside and they are seeking shelter. That doesn't mean, by the way, that it is OK or that you should look the other way. What you could have done is locate transit police and report the activity so that the person could be removed from the platform. You should never directly approach a person using drugs. Allow the professionals to handle that. Alerting them is certainly in the realm of performing your civic duty.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Growing up, I always felt like my parents favored my older sister. They gave her more attention, more praise and more encouragement because they believed she was destined for great success. No matter how hard I worked or what I accomplished, I never felt like I measured up to their expectations of her. Fast forward to today, both my sister and I have done well in life, but I've actually become more successful, particularly through investing, real estate and running my own business. Now, suddenly, my parents are treating me completely differently. They've become much warmer, more attentive and more interested in my life, but not for the reasons I would have hoped. Instead of being proud of me for what I've built, it feels like their change in attitude is mainly because they keep asking me for money. It's frustrating and hurtful because I can't tell if their affection is genuine or if it's just transactional.
I'm struggling with how to handle this situation. Do I set firm boundaries and risk straining our relationship further, or do I help them out despite my resentment? I don't want to hold grudges, but I also don't want to be taken advantage of. -- Don't Take Me for Granted
DEAR DON'T TAKE ME FOR GRANTED: You should decide how much you are willing to allocate to help your parents, purely out of love and respect for them. Decide on that amount, and when you reach it, tell them that you don't have any more to offer.
As far as figuring out their motivation for being kind to you, don't go down that rabbit hole. Family dynamics are often complicated. Yours certainly are. Rather than setting yourself up for more hurt feelings, do your best to forgive your parents for their favoritism and live your life. Be proud of yourself and your ability to help them despite their shortcomings. Consider getting therapy to help you heal from your emotional scars.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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