Life Advice
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Grateful for the Help, but Uncomfortable With the Extras
Dear Annie: I am a nurse who needed to become a full-time caregiver for my mom, who is in her 90s. I have siblings; however, when I ask for their help, there is always an excuse. I haven't had a vacation in several years.
A friend of mine who is also a nurse offered to take care of my mom so I could have a long weekend off. I was so grateful ...Read more
Bitter Feelings For Mean Teacher Persist Decades Later
DEAR ABBY: My elementary school teacher passed away recently. I hadn't seen her in more than 20 years because of how she made me feel. I remember her as manipulative and having a negative attitude toward the less fortunate. Because I didn't come from a rich or prominent family, I was subjected to humiliation, fear and intimidation. I remember ...Read more
Asking Eric: Boyfriend’s workaholism creates relationship tension
Dear Eric: I’m 51 years old. I’ve been dating “John” for two and a half years now. After a year, he moved in to help with the mortgage. Most of the time he pays but if he misses a month and I ask about it, he gets angry which I find to be a very strange reaction.
If I ever get mad about something he turns around and gets mad at me and ...Read more
Adult Child Struggles To Trust Mom With Private Matters
DEAR HARRIETTE: I love my mom, but I just can't trust her with any sensitive information. Every time I share something personal or private, she turns around and tells my family, her friends and even acquaintances, and it's incredibly frustrating. For example, I'll confide in her about something going on in my life, and the next time I see a ...Read more
Was I Rude To Mind My Own Business?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was walking in the humanities building of the university where I am a graduate student. I turned the corner of the hallway that leads to the offices and saw one of my professors lying in the middle of the hall at the bottom of a few steps.
She had two other professors around her, and I could hear that they believed she had ...Read more
Navigating Burnout and Feeling Left Behind
Dear Annie: It's been a long journey for my wife and I. I left grad school and we got married in 2008, just as the economy collapsed. It took us a while to get our careers going. After 10 years of struggle, we moved to a new state for new jobs, and right before the pandemic, my wife started working on her teaching degree. During all of this, ...Read more
Friend's Drunk Dials Are Too Much To Handle
DEAR ABBY: I have been friends with a couple for 30 years. Both are alcoholics. They function, work at farmers' markets, are sociable, have a house and pay their bills. Yet, at least once, maybe twice a month, they get totally wasted and the wife calls me and rambles on incoherently. I suspect they get drunk even more frequently, but, thankfully...Read more
Single File: Reasons Why
DEAR SUSAN: The other day, a friend said that I'm angry at men and I seem to resent them, even if they're nice. Any thoughts on why this could be? -- Sallie D., New York City
DEAR SALLIE: There are many possible roots to your anti-male mindset, starting with the family dynamics in your home. I'd like you to scan the whole list of possibilities ...Read more
Ask Anna: How can I move past my boyfriend's cringey DMs?
Dear Anna,
I've been dating my boyfriend (36M) for five months, and recently, I found out that he had quite a reputation for sending unsolicited, borderline harassy messages to women online. A coworker of mine showed me some of his old DMs on Instagram — telling her how hot she was, and asking her out repeatedly, even though she never replied...Read more
'Still single' versus 'single and available'
“In your opinion, why am I still single? I want love to find me!!”
This is a text message I received recently from a frustrated client of mine.
I actually get this question more often than one might think. I replied, “This sounds like a question that can’t be answered over text. But I’ll start here: You’ve had relationships before,...Read more
Asking Eric: Distant cousin sends non-stop messages
Dear Eric: My husband doesn't live in the country in which he was born. Because of that, I've tried to connect with his family. We visited his family over the years and vice versa. He has a cousin who asked if we could stay in touch through the messaging app WhatsApp and her husband also requested to be included. Great!
Unfortunately, his wife ...Read more
Reader Feels Stuck While Friends Succeed Abroad
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am still friends with my high school besties, "Erica" and "Celine." Erica became a registered nurse and moved abroad for work, while Celine is working in Dubai and enjoying a good life, even though she hasn't finished college. I have a master's degree in business administration, but I'm currently unemployed and waiting for ...Read more
Uncle Wants To Rewrite History
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Some years ago, my uncle, having never met my then-boyfriend, made a series of racist jokes about him. (My boyfriend is part-Asian.)
These jokes were made on my blog, which another family member had shared with my uncle without my consent. For example, if I wrote that I was attending a party, my uncle would comment, "Make ...Read more
Choosing Peace Over Family Drama
Dear Annie: I've made the decision to distance myself from my sister, who exhibits narcissistic, dramatic, needy and demanding behavior.
For years, I offered her help, advice and support, only to have the relationship follow a repetitive and unhealthy cycle. I would set boundaries and shut her out after being hurt but eventually let her back ...Read more
Partner Wants Intimacy Only With A Third Participant
DEAR ABBY: I'm in an open relationship with my partner. We both enjoy hooking up with other people, but only if we agree on the person. It was going great; I still got my one-on-one time with my partner. But now it seems that instead of making love with just me, the only time he wants to touch me is if someone else comes over. What's the best ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friends’ petty complaints causing bitterness
Dear Eric: I’ve struggled with a mild autoimmune condition for the last three decades that would flare from time to time. Normal life is difficult during the flares, especially while raising a family and running a business with my husband. I did the best I could.
About five years ago, I got extremely sick, and it just got worse and worse. ...Read more
Mom Criticized For Daughter's Pickiness
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 9-year-old daughter recently went over to her friend's house for a playdate. She was so excited to spend time with her friend, and everything seemed fine when I dropped her off. However, when I went to pick her up, her friend's mom pulled me aside and made a comment that really caught me off guard. She criticized my parenting ...Read more
Enough About My Gray Hair!
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I started going gray at age 14, so I've gotten a lot of comments about my appearance over the last 20 years -- shockingly, ALL from women.
From my friends' moms ("You're too young for gray hair!") to professors ("You should really dye your hair; you look so old") to strangers on the street, women seem to feel that the ...Read more
Struggling to Reconnect With Son
Dear Annie: We used to have an excellent relationship with our son, and he has a daughter who is now 19 years old. Seven years ago, he met a divorced woman whom we initially liked, but over time, things changed drastically. Since this new relationship began, our son's bond with his daughter has deteriorated to the point where they hardly see ...Read more
Cash For Niece's Shower Pays For Cruise Instead
DEAR ABBY: My sister recently lost her husband, who passed away after a brief fight with cancer. Her daughter, my niece, was scheduled to be married later this year. They struggle with finances, and my brother-in-law's death exacerbated the situation. In order to help out, my wife and I quietly gave them $1,000 to put toward my niece's shower so...Read more
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