By now, we’ve all probably experimented with AI tools like ChatGPT — maybe to help us write an essay or outline for work, to help us plan a vacation, or maybe just for fun to see what kind of answers would come up to silly questions while sitting around with friends. But it recently came to my attention that some are turning to chatbots for dating advice or even help on dating apps.

A survey of 2,000 people by Flirtini found a surprising amount of people have tried this. They reported, “Some 50% of people have turned to chatbots, such as ChatGPT, for dating advice, with 55% having used AI to generate messages to send their crush. Likewise, 46% have practiced flirting with a chatbot, while 40% have used the technology to brush up on their sexting skills.”

It got me thinking: Could AI really help me write a bio for Bumble? Or craft a thoughtful and intriguing opening message to someone? So I decided to test it out.

Using ChatGPT, I asked it to craft me an online dating profile for an app that limits a person’s bio to 300 characters. My prompt read, “Can you write me a dating profile that is 300 characters long? Please include that I love my dog, travel (most recent trip to Egypt), red wine and board games.”

The chatbot came back with: “Dog lover, avid traveler (just back from an amazing trip to Egypt!), and red wine enthusiast. I enjoy quiet nights with a good board game and great company. Looking for someone who shares my passions and is ready for new adventures together. Let's make memories and laugh a lot!”

As you can see, it pretty much just fed me back what I wrote in the first half and got pretty generic (AKA: nothing that is going to entice someone to send you a message!) in the second half. Not impressed so far.

Let’s try an opening message. I wrote in ChatGPT, “Can you create an opening message to send someone on a dating app? Their bio said, "Engineer by day — concerts, basketball, and Mexican restaurants by night. Not willing to admit my Starbucks order until you’ve shared something equally embarrassing.”

The response: “Engineer by day and concert-goer by night sounds like a great balance. Any shows on the calendar?”

It’s definitely not a bad opener to a conversation, as it uses characteristics unique to the profile. However, the real “message bait” in this profile is the Starbucks order, if you ask me — and I’m sure they’d love to get asked about it after you share your own “embarrassing” admission. A better opening message may be something like: “I’m curious enough about this Starbucks order that I’m willing to admit that my go-to movie night includes overly buttered popcorn and a poorly acted horror film. Ok, will you tell me now?”

I kept playing around with these ideas and got more of the same. My conclusion on AI-generated profiles and messages? No one knows you like you do, especially not a robot.

A good profile should be filled with message bait that is specific and makes you stand out from the crowd. Going back to the example I used for the ChatGPT-generated profile, you can craft a much more interesting bio by mentioning your favorite board game, your go-to wine bar, or what kind of travel gets you excited to pack your bags. Plus, all that filler at the end of the AI bio can be much better used to name a few more of your interests.

Meanwhile, opening messages should always take something from the person’s profile and ask a question about it, like I shared above.

Look, not everyone is the best at writing … especially about themselves. But if you’re looking for some help, it’s best to turn to a professional who can uniquely tailor a profile and messages to you. (Hi!) Not only do I help my clients with profiles and messages, but I also give feedback on photos, matches, date planning and anything else that comes up where you need some advice that’s based on evidence.

It would be great if dating was one-size-fits-all, but as you already know, that’s just not the case. So instead of turning to ChatGPT for dating advice, let’s stick to using it for travel itineraries and book reports.

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