ArcaMax

If case you were sick and missed it, March 30 was National Doctors' Day.

WalletHub, a personal finance company, took note by reporting on the best and worst states for practicing medicine, based on metrics such as average annual wage, number of hospitals per capita and quality of the public health system.

The top 10 in descending order were Montana, Indiana, South Dakota, Iowa, Utah, North Carolina, Minnesota, North Dakota, Tennessee and Wisconsin. The bottom 10 in ascending order were Hawaii, Rhode Island, District of Columbia, New Jersey, Oregon, Illinois, New Mexico, Maryland, New York and Alaska.

Some items of note for medical school graduates:

Utah has the highest average annual wage for surgeons (adjusted for cost of living), which is 2.7 times higher than in the District of Columbia, the lowest.

North Dakota has the lowest number of physicians per 1,000 residents, which is 5.6 times lower than in the District of Columbia, the highest.

Florida has the highest projected share of the population aged 65 and older by 2030, which is two times higher than in Utah, the lowest.

Nebraska has the lowest annual malpractice liability insurance rate, which is 8.1 times lower than in New York, the highest.

The average annual salary for a family physician in 2025 is $225,000.

Body of Knowledge

A sneeze can routinely exceed 100 miles per hour; a cough clocks in at a comparatively laggard 60 mph -- still enough force to send large respiratory droplets 6 feet or more.

Get Me That, Stat!

In a 2024 study by the National Center for Health Statistics, 95% of adults said they believed knowing their family health history was somewhat or very important, but only 15% were actively collecting that information.

Mark Your Calendar

April is awareness month for irritable bowel syndrome, autism, sarcoidosis, oral and testicular cancers, Parkinson's disease, sexually transmitted infections and stress. April is a very stressful month.

Doc Talk

Happiness set-point: An individual's baseline level of happiness (determined largely by genetics) around which moods fluctuate. After reacting to positive or negative life changes, people tend to return to their happiness set-points.

Phobia of the Week

Cherophobia: Fear of happiness. (Guessing the root of the word isn't cheery.)

Best Medicine

Two carrots are driving in a car when there's a terrible accident. Both are rushed to the hospital. One carrot has only minor cuts and bruises, but the other undergoes emergency surgery.

Hours later, a surgeon comes out to speak to the carrot's gathered friends.

"I have good and bad news," the surgeon says. "The good news is that your friend is going to live. The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."

(If you saw the punchline coming, it's because you eat a lot of carrots.)

Observation

"We are all born mad. Some remain so." -- Irish novelist and playwright Samuel Beckett (1906-1989)

Medical History

This week in 1867, using antiseptic methods he introduced, English physician Joseph Lister completed treating a series of 11 compound fractures. His subsequent reports of success in preventing infection forever changed surgical techniques.

Ig Nobel Apprised

The Ig Nobel Prizes celebrate achievements that make people laugh, then think. A look at real science that's hard to take seriously and even harder to ignore.

In 1992, the Ig Nobel Prize in chemistry went to Ivette Bassa, an expert in colloids, which are substances consisting of microscopically dispersed insoluble particles suspended throughout another substance. Bassa was specifically honored for her synthesis of bright blue Jell-O.

Med School

Q: Why do fingers and toes wrinkle when immersed in water?

A: It's a result of blood vessel constriction. As water seeps into your skin, the upper layers swell, prompting nerves to fire off electrical charges and chemicals that contract blood vessels. Negative pressure from the narrowed blood vessels pulls down the upper layers of your skin, producing visible wrinkles. Some research suggests the phenomenon may help humans grip objects better when in water.

Curtain Calls

Jean-Baptiste Lully was a reasonably acclaimed composer in 17th-centuy France. He preferred to conduct orchestras using a wooden staff that he pounded on the floor. During a concert in 1687, while he was vigorously conducting a Te Deum, his staff struck his foot, piercing it. An infection set in, but Lully, who was an avid dancer, refused to have the gangrenous leg amputated and subsequently died.

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To find out more about Scott LaFee and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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