Late Night writer John Lutz shares how he gets inspiration from Maker's Mark's red wax design before sharing a glass with Seth.

- Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.
- Old musicians never die, they just get played out.
- Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
- Old daredevils never die, they just...Read More

After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball was tired. He told the circus owner he was going to retire.

"But you can't!" protested the boss. "Where am I going to find another man of your caliber?"

Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?"

A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First,...Read More

A duck walks into a drugstore and asks for a tube of ChapStick. The cashier says to the duck, "That'll be $1.49."

The duck replies, "Put it on my bill!"

A priest was preparing a man for his long journey into the night.

Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil."

The dying man said nothing.

The priest repeated ...Read More