Humor
/Entertainment
Fixing an Ailment
In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it's most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They were told to wait as the doctor got their files...Read more
ABCs
While walking through the woods one day, I was surprised to hear a child's voice. I followed the sound, trying in vain to understand the child's words. When I spotted a boy perched on a rock, I realized why his words had made no sense: He was repeating the alphabet.
"Why are you saying your ABC's so many times?" I asked him.
The child replied...Read more
Trump Farts on Stage, MAGA Nuts Push Insane Weather Lies & Mr. USA's Products Are Made in CHINA!
More than 3 million residents of Florida are without power after Hurricane Milton made its way through, Trumpers have been blaming the White House for the mess even though two weeks ago 11 House Republicans from Florida voted against keeping the Government and FEMA fully funded, Marjorie Taylor Greene is pushing this bonkers idea that Democrats ...Read more
Eric Idle Forgot He Kept a Diary While Working on SPAMALOT
Eric Idle talks about using an old diary he wrote during SPAMALOT for his book The Spamalot Diaries, having a big fight with his friend and director of the show Mike Nichols and the reason behind Monty Python and the Holy Grail's interesting ending.
Eric Idle - "The Spamalot Diaries" & Looking on the Bright Side of Life | The Daily Show
“My job is to make them laugh, and I like to hear them laugh. I think it’s a sickness.” Award-winning comedy legend Eric Idle sits down with Jordan Klepper to discuss his new book, "The Spamalot Diaries.” They talk about how hoarding diaries revealed memories and arguments from the making of the Broadway musical, director Mike Nichols’...Read more
Norm Macdonald Tells The Most Convoluted Joke Ever - CONAN on TBS
(Original airdate: 05/21/14) Norm has a hilarious story to tell...do you have a spare 37 minutes?
Proportions
One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portrait for a class assignment. Peter agreed, and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.
The art student approached the professor to ask why the ...Read more
The Classifieds
Actual excerpts from classified sections:
Illiterate? Write today for free help.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
Dog for sale: It eats anything and is fond of children.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take ...Read more
Women vs. Men
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be ...Read more
Ways To Get Rid Of Telemarketers, Part II
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in a sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"
8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood.
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but...Read more
Hangover
Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is ...Read more
Words from Women pt. 1
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong
I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job. - Roseanne
My husband and I ...Read more
Mom's Present
A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me." The daughter nods in agreement. "And I think this fur coat would be perfect too."
The daughter protests, "But mom, some helpless, poor creature has ...Read more
More How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace
- Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi."
- Suggest that beer be put in the soda machine.
- Include a piece of your children's artwork as a cover page for all reports that you write. (If you don't have ...Read more
Interesting Facts
If you toss a penny 10000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.
The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English ...Read more
Signs You've had too much of the 21st Century, Part I
1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.
4. You e-mail your colleague at the desk next to you to ask if they're ready to go to lunch.
5. You chat on-line regularly with a stranger from the U.S., but ...Read more
Amber Says What: P. Diddy, Republicans Endorsing Kamala Harris
Late Night writer Amber Ruffin recaps what's happening in pop culture news.
VP Kamala Harris Shares A Miller High Life With Stephen Colbert
"The Champagne of Beers," Miller High Life, was the brew of choice when VP Kamala Harris agreed to crack a beer with Stephen Colbert in the final segment of her four-part interview on The Late Show.
Nightmare at the Vet's (Halloween Special)
An all too familiar scenario for cat onwers turns into a nightmare in our Halloween Special - Nightmare at the Vets! Have a spooky month cat lovers