Surprise! The Boss Hates the Holiday Party, Too
Think you're alone in dreading your company's annual holiday party? Think again.
There's a person who hates the holiday party even more than you. That person is your boss.
It makes sense. You only have to go to the party. The boss has to plan it. And even if the boss delegates the details to an underling -- as the boss tends to do with pretty much everything -- they do have to approve it. They also have to defend it when your boss's boss wants an explanation for all the money that was spent for a party that succeeded only in making those who walked out even more miserable than when they walked in.
Fortunately for your boss, help is available. "How to Plan an Office Party that Employees Don't Dread," a recent article by Pavithra Mohan on the Fast Company website, offers timely advice for bringing holiday joy to workers for whom "the year-end celebration can be a dreaded annual requirement."
Chances are you are not responsible for planning the office holiday party, but you may be responsible for attending. Take the time to think about what your boss is thinking, the better to think up a way to approach the party or, better yet, a way to avoid it.
No. 1: Being remote won't save you.
Providing inclusivity for remote workers is a big part of your boss's problem. It's difficult to give a party for discontented workers who never come into the office, as well as the discontented workers who can't break out of the office.
Your boss should understand that you've been working remotely for so long, you are no longer able to be in the same room with anyone who isn't your cat. Besides, without the daily commute, chances are you have forgotten the company's address.
This is why remote workers should prepare for the boss to bring the party to you.
What better holiday gift for a remote worker, your boss will have decided, than to have your manager show up at your front door, bursting with holiday cheer? The boss will be bringing their suitcase, you can be sure, since they'll be staying over, at least until New Year's Eve, so you can discuss the opportunity to go maximum remote, spending 2025 in the company's office in Coober Pedy, Australia.
(In Coober Pedy, half the population lives underground, so you'll feel right at home.)
No. 2: Don't expect a good time in a bad time.
Spending beaucoup bucks on a holiday party could be a challenge for companies that are laying off employees left and right. To prove that budgets are really tight, a holiday buffet of saltines and Velveeta will demonstrate there was an economic reason for your boss to fire your best work buddies. On the other hand, your boss may want to take your mind off the company's dire financial condition by lavishing the survivors with caviar and champagne, thus attesting the business will survive -- at least until next year's Valentine's Day party.
No. 3: Fun is optional.
Because your boss understands that you will not be enthused about a holiday party where attendance is required, expect them to make it clear that your presence is optional. The message will be subtle, so you may fall for it if you are not alert.
"The holiday party this year is strictly voluntary," your boss will say. "Showing your loyalty to the company and those of us in management who have spent time and money organizing an event that celebrates the hard workers on the team is important to us, but if it's not important to you, and there's something else you'd rather do with your leisure time, do it. We'll do our best to make sure you have plenty of leisure time in the year ahead."
No. 4: A different party. The same hell.
"Instead of a holiday party," Pavithra Mohan writes, "you could opt for a volunteer day or another activity oriented around social impact."
One good idea with social impact galore is to have all employees volunteer to spend a day celebrating what makes the boss such a wonderful person. While one day may not be enough time to cover all the boss's stellar qualities, it would be a good idea for you to prepare a punchy 30-minute presentation, complete with spreadsheet and animated slideshow, highlighting the boss's exemplary qualities.
It's extra work, admittedly, but it could increase your chances for staying employed -- at least until next year's Valentine's Day party.
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Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2024 Creators Syndicate, Inc.
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